In the last few days, it's been brought to my attention that several people I care deeply about are dealing with personal battles that are hurting them deeply. Since I'm continuing to deal with my dad's death and a new life without him around, my hurt is still very new. Compounding all that with friends hurting really just cuts me deep in my soul. It also reminds me that for those of us that are Christ-followers, this hurt and pain is only temporary. As the Carrie Underwood song says, "This is not our home."
I'm the type person that cares for my friends and family and I care for them deeply. When they hurt, I hurt with them. I'm also the type person that wants to help/fix things if it's in my power. Unfortunately, the hurts my friends are dealing with are things I have no control over and there's nothing I can do. I absolutely HATE knowing my hands are tied and I have to sit on the sidelines and watch them experience pain and heartache. I know that I can spend time praying to our Heavenly Father to take care of the problems and comfort my friends and I absoultely believe in the power of prayer. I just hate not being able to do anything visible for them.
I was reading a Facebook post earlier tonight where the poster said she didn't know how people without faith in Jesus Christ made it thru the tough and trying times. I totally agree with her. Faith is such an important part of my coping mechanism and without that faith, I would be a total basketcase, hands down.
So many people want to live in this world without Christ as their moral compass. I do not know how they deal with all the heartache and pain this world hands out to us on a regular basis.
Although there's nothing physical I can do to help, I'm praying and cheering them on as much as I possibly can. I just hope that if the time arises where I can do something, they know that I'm here and sitting on go to help.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Since I turned 40
So, it's been forever since I blogged and I feel terrible because of it. Oh well, I'm working on getting better at it and maybe this is the start of a new beginning.
It's September 5, 2010 and so much has happened since I turned 40. Here's the high/low points in a nutshell:
1. July 22 I had my gall bladder removed.
2. July 23 spent my birthday in recovery from surgery.
3. Found out my best friend from high school is battling breast cancer.
4. August 4 my daddy passed away at the age of 71.
5. August 6 we buried my daddy.
6. August 12 school started back and my 4.5 year old son started pre-k.
7. August 12 I also began my new job as a 5th grade Social Studies teacher at the same school I taught at last school year, half a year.
8. August 18 I began teaching the prek/k class on Wednesday nights at my church. It was my idea to start the program so I guess it's 'my baby' so to speak.
9. August 30 renewed my desire to get back in shape and to stay that way the rest of my life.
With all that said, as you can see, things have been extremely crazy in my life.
Here are the updates on how it's all going:
1. Recovery went well. I'm 6 weeks post-op and I feel great. All the stitches are gone and the wounds are all healed and the scars are hopefully going away. I can finally pick up Andrew again and he's happy. We've both missed me being able to 'tote my sack of taters'. :-)
2. Yes, I turned 40 and spent the day in bed in recovery. Not exactly the best way to spend a big, milestone birthday but it's ok. I have told several people that I didn't really feel old until I actually found out I was going to have to have a defective body part surgically removed. Afterall, don't only old people do that sort of thing? hahaha
3. Sandy, my high school best friend, found out on her 40th birthday that she had breast cancer. She had a mastectomy and has now begun the process of chemo. She has an extremely strong faith and has attacked this horrible, hideous disease with courage and strength. Please pray for her with me.
4. You may or may not know that my daddy died on August 4th after a 3+ year battle with renal failure (kidneys stopped working) thanks to complications from the evil disease known as diabetes. He spent most of the last 3 years tethered to an inhome dialysis machine. He had good days and bad days but never got to the point where we knew the end was coming soon. He didn't end up in a hospital lingering for a long period of time, wondering when the end would come. And we are thankful for that fact. He never wanted to be hooked to tons of machines to keep him alive. When it was his time to go, he wanted to go quickly and as painlessly as possible. That's how he went.
Thankfully my family has a strong faith in God. We all KNOW where my daddy is now- in Heaven. That FACT has helped us deal with this struggle. None of us has been completely devistated. We have cried. We miss him terribly. We think about all the fun and funny times we had thanks to him. But we will make it. Our faith in knowing that we will see him again in Heaven has helped us make it through. We are sad but we know he's way better off than we will ever be in this life. And that comforts us.
5. On August 6 we buried my daddy and began a new chapter in our lives. My momma, the sweetest, most loving wife and mother you could ever imagine, saw her husband of 46 years for the last time. She was his wife, lover, caretaker, best friend and so much more. She's been very strong and knows she'll see him again. Yes, she's been sad and missed him every minute of the day. But, she'll continue to live a great life. She's tried to mostly stay busy and I think that's helped. It's just the nighttime hours when she's all alone and when she used to spend lots of time with my dad, when I think it really hits her the most. Prayers for her are much appreciated as well.
6. School started and we've been in full GO mode since. Andrew started pre-k and loves it. He does give his teachers a challenge and he gets in trouble a lot. He spends a lot of time on the "time out spot" and even got sent to another classroom for a while the other day. That time out in another room is the last step before they go to the principal. I was afraid this was going to happen but I honestly think a lot of it has to do with boredom. They had a Pre-K Parent Orientation about a week ago. As they were discussing what all they do in the class, I couldn't help but think that so much of that stuff is stuff he's known for a year or longer. They are going to start doing letter sounds "later in the school year" and Andrew has known letter sounds a while. He's even sounding out words to read them and spell them. I am hoping and praying his behavior this year isn't a peek at what the next 12 years will be like.
7. Last school year I taught half a year in 4th grade Science. I was fortunate enough to be offered the chance to move to 5th grade Social Studies. I love the school where I teach. The staff I work with is an amazing group of people. They've been so supportive of me and my family since my daddy died and they are that way with everyone, regardless of what's going on in our lives. I also love my kids so very much. They are a great bunch of kids- challenging but I love them all. I'm so thankful to have another chance to teach them all.
8. The TeamKids program (prek/k) at church kicked off on August 18th. It went well although I had 11 kids all by myself. The 2nd week I had help and we had 18 kids. The 3rd week I had 12 by myself. So, needless to say, there's a need for a class for that age group. There's also a need for help with that program. Hopefully some parents will step up and offer to help. Otherwise, I may go crazy! :-)
9. Back at the end of June I decided to start working on getting rid of all the weight I regained and get back in shape. I'm 40 now and I NEED to do this. I don't want to end up in a situation like my daddy ended up in. He was diagnosed with diabetes when he was in his 40s and at diagnosis, he was overweight. I do not want to end up walking down a similar path to him. So, I HAVE to get it together and learn to live a life of moderation in all things. As they say, "everything in moderation, including moderation" and I think that's a great philosophy. I am hoping this year I can learn what moderation is and learn to live within it. Although I had a wrench thrown in things when my daddy died, I have managed to lose over 20 pounds since the end of June and I'm hoping to keep on that path.
I have a friend that's offered to help me get back on track and I'm taking him up on his offer. I'm not sure what it's going to look like as far as day to day support and such but any help is appreciated. I KNOW what I need to do for the most part. I just have to make the CHOICE to do it- day by day, step by step, bite by bite and choice by choice. Prayers are totally appreciated in this area as well.
I'm hoping and praying that by the time July 23, 2011 comes along, that I'll be in a better place all around. I'm hoping I'll be well on the way to being the healthiest I've been since I was a freshman in college. That spring and summer of my freshman year I took 2 swimming classes and I am certain I was in the best shape all around I've ever been in. I hope I can get back there, or somewhere close.
It's September 5, 2010 and so much has happened since I turned 40. Here's the high/low points in a nutshell:
1. July 22 I had my gall bladder removed.
2. July 23 spent my birthday in recovery from surgery.
3. Found out my best friend from high school is battling breast cancer.
4. August 4 my daddy passed away at the age of 71.
5. August 6 we buried my daddy.
6. August 12 school started back and my 4.5 year old son started pre-k.
7. August 12 I also began my new job as a 5th grade Social Studies teacher at the same school I taught at last school year, half a year.
8. August 18 I began teaching the prek/k class on Wednesday nights at my church. It was my idea to start the program so I guess it's 'my baby' so to speak.
9. August 30 renewed my desire to get back in shape and to stay that way the rest of my life.
With all that said, as you can see, things have been extremely crazy in my life.
Here are the updates on how it's all going:
1. Recovery went well. I'm 6 weeks post-op and I feel great. All the stitches are gone and the wounds are all healed and the scars are hopefully going away. I can finally pick up Andrew again and he's happy. We've both missed me being able to 'tote my sack of taters'. :-)
2. Yes, I turned 40 and spent the day in bed in recovery. Not exactly the best way to spend a big, milestone birthday but it's ok. I have told several people that I didn't really feel old until I actually found out I was going to have to have a defective body part surgically removed. Afterall, don't only old people do that sort of thing? hahaha
3. Sandy, my high school best friend, found out on her 40th birthday that she had breast cancer. She had a mastectomy and has now begun the process of chemo. She has an extremely strong faith and has attacked this horrible, hideous disease with courage and strength. Please pray for her with me.
4. You may or may not know that my daddy died on August 4th after a 3+ year battle with renal failure (kidneys stopped working) thanks to complications from the evil disease known as diabetes. He spent most of the last 3 years tethered to an inhome dialysis machine. He had good days and bad days but never got to the point where we knew the end was coming soon. He didn't end up in a hospital lingering for a long period of time, wondering when the end would come. And we are thankful for that fact. He never wanted to be hooked to tons of machines to keep him alive. When it was his time to go, he wanted to go quickly and as painlessly as possible. That's how he went.
Thankfully my family has a strong faith in God. We all KNOW where my daddy is now- in Heaven. That FACT has helped us deal with this struggle. None of us has been completely devistated. We have cried. We miss him terribly. We think about all the fun and funny times we had thanks to him. But we will make it. Our faith in knowing that we will see him again in Heaven has helped us make it through. We are sad but we know he's way better off than we will ever be in this life. And that comforts us.
5. On August 6 we buried my daddy and began a new chapter in our lives. My momma, the sweetest, most loving wife and mother you could ever imagine, saw her husband of 46 years for the last time. She was his wife, lover, caretaker, best friend and so much more. She's been very strong and knows she'll see him again. Yes, she's been sad and missed him every minute of the day. But, she'll continue to live a great life. She's tried to mostly stay busy and I think that's helped. It's just the nighttime hours when she's all alone and when she used to spend lots of time with my dad, when I think it really hits her the most. Prayers for her are much appreciated as well.
6. School started and we've been in full GO mode since. Andrew started pre-k and loves it. He does give his teachers a challenge and he gets in trouble a lot. He spends a lot of time on the "time out spot" and even got sent to another classroom for a while the other day. That time out in another room is the last step before they go to the principal. I was afraid this was going to happen but I honestly think a lot of it has to do with boredom. They had a Pre-K Parent Orientation about a week ago. As they were discussing what all they do in the class, I couldn't help but think that so much of that stuff is stuff he's known for a year or longer. They are going to start doing letter sounds "later in the school year" and Andrew has known letter sounds a while. He's even sounding out words to read them and spell them. I am hoping and praying his behavior this year isn't a peek at what the next 12 years will be like.
7. Last school year I taught half a year in 4th grade Science. I was fortunate enough to be offered the chance to move to 5th grade Social Studies. I love the school where I teach. The staff I work with is an amazing group of people. They've been so supportive of me and my family since my daddy died and they are that way with everyone, regardless of what's going on in our lives. I also love my kids so very much. They are a great bunch of kids- challenging but I love them all. I'm so thankful to have another chance to teach them all.
8. The TeamKids program (prek/k) at church kicked off on August 18th. It went well although I had 11 kids all by myself. The 2nd week I had help and we had 18 kids. The 3rd week I had 12 by myself. So, needless to say, there's a need for a class for that age group. There's also a need for help with that program. Hopefully some parents will step up and offer to help. Otherwise, I may go crazy! :-)
9. Back at the end of June I decided to start working on getting rid of all the weight I regained and get back in shape. I'm 40 now and I NEED to do this. I don't want to end up in a situation like my daddy ended up in. He was diagnosed with diabetes when he was in his 40s and at diagnosis, he was overweight. I do not want to end up walking down a similar path to him. So, I HAVE to get it together and learn to live a life of moderation in all things. As they say, "everything in moderation, including moderation" and I think that's a great philosophy. I am hoping this year I can learn what moderation is and learn to live within it. Although I had a wrench thrown in things when my daddy died, I have managed to lose over 20 pounds since the end of June and I'm hoping to keep on that path.
I have a friend that's offered to help me get back on track and I'm taking him up on his offer. I'm not sure what it's going to look like as far as day to day support and such but any help is appreciated. I KNOW what I need to do for the most part. I just have to make the CHOICE to do it- day by day, step by step, bite by bite and choice by choice. Prayers are totally appreciated in this area as well.
I'm hoping and praying that by the time July 23, 2011 comes along, that I'll be in a better place all around. I'm hoping I'll be well on the way to being the healthiest I've been since I was a freshman in college. That spring and summer of my freshman year I took 2 swimming classes and I am certain I was in the best shape all around I've ever been in. I hope I can get back there, or somewhere close.
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