One month into my new job

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Last Friday was one month since I started my new job teaching 4th grade science and I can honestly say that I love it.  I really like my boss and my co-workers.  The kids, overall, are a great group of kids.  Yes, they drive me crazy sometimes.  Yes, some of them are way more "hard" than I feel 4th grade kids should be. Regardless, I love them dearly!  They provide me with so much entertainment (sometimes at the appropriate time and a lot of times in inappropriate times) and fulfillment.  I've learned in only a month that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now in my chosen career and I LOVE IT!!!

Since I started my new job and have to commute about 20 minutes, I've made a few changes to Andrew's schedule too.  When I first started my new job, I was driving across town to take Andrew to daycare.  I'd leave him at daycare at around 6:45AM and then I'd have to drive all the way BACK across town to head to where I work.  Then, I'd leave my job at around 3:45 (when we are released for the day) and I'd get back to pick Andrew up from daycare at around 4:15/4:30 (depending on traffic).  There was so much extra driving and Andrew was in daycare way more than he previously was while I was subbing.  So, after tons of prayers, making pro and con lists, making a decision, rethinking, making a different decision, worrying, feeling very torn, I finally made the decision to move Andrew from his daycare and take him with me to the daycare at the elementary school in the town where I'm teaching.  I did let Andrew visit the daycare for a few days and I asked him what he thought about it.  I included his input in my decision making, too.

Before the changes with his daycare and even before I got my job, Andrew was going two nights each week and every other wekeend to spend the night with his dad and stepmom.  When he was home with me, he was having very big meltdowns over things that were not worthy of meltdowns at all and the meltdowns were happening pretty regularly.  His personality had changed and it was breaking my heart to see him having such a rough time.  The only thing I could pinpoint that might be triggering his meltdowns was that his time away from his primary home had increased.  Before his dad got married, Andrew was going to his dad's house usually one night a week and a night or two every other weekend.  Then when his dad got married, stepmom wanted a more regular schedule so they were doing one night a week, another night every other week and every other weekend.  Then, in January, they requested that Andrew start staying overnight two nights a week and every other weekend and I think it was just too much for him.  So, starting mid-February, I decided that it would be best for Andrew to spend every night during the week at one house.  He still goes to his dad and stepmom's house those two nights during the week but he comes home every night instead of staying part of the week at our house and part of the week at their house.  I can honestly say that I can see a huge difference in his attitude.  The first night he went to their house and then came home, he did have a few of his meltdowns.  However, the next night he didn't have any and hasn't had any of the meltdowns that were over nothing, since.

Honestly, picking Andrew up (or Andrew's dad bringing him home) each night during the week hasn't been easy.  I was used to having two nights a week where I could do what I wanted without having my mommy duties dictate what I did.  It's not great fun to interrupt my night to drive about 15/20 minutes across town to go pick Andrew up at 7:45.  But, I am certain, without a doubt, that the decision was the best thing FOR ANDREW. 

Since I became a mom, it has been my goal to do everything within my power to make sure my decisions were for Andrew's best.  I've spent a lot of time putting my personal feelings aside to make sure Andrew was in the best situation for HIM. Many decisions I've made haven't been easy or convenient for me. But, it's not about me.  It's about Andrew and what's best for him. When I made the decision to change Andrew's time with his dad and stepmom, that was my goal.  I wasn't sure what I was doing was right but it was the only thing I could thing of to try to improve my son's state of mind.  Some people might not agree with my decisions.  Some people have even asked me why I've done some of the things I've done.  Some people have gotten mad at me.  So, be it.  I know, in my heart of hearts, that I've always done what was best for Andrew.  I'm his mom.  I've known him since the beginning of his little, precious life.  I can read him better than anyone.  He wasn't happy and I could see it because I'm his mom.

Andrew's fortunate enough to have a great number of people in his life that love him.  I'm so appreciative of all those that have welcomed Andrew in their lives and love him.  I just hope that those that question my choices know that my goal is to do all I can to raise Andrew to be a strong Christian young man that will love those around him, be considerate of others' feelings and be willing to hear all sides of a story before picking a side.  I also hope that he will give everyone a fair chance, even if they make choices that hurt him.  I hope he learns to be forgiving, regardless of how people treat him.  That's what I strive to do and I hope I'm setting a good example for him.

It's 5 months until my 40th birthday.  I can proudly say that I'm in a career I love, I have a son that's handsome, smart, funny, and incredibly loving.  My family loves me and they are so very supportive.  I'm beyond blessed.